The last time I breastfed Catherine, she was three years and three months old. I was about six to eight weeks pregnant. Morning sickness was setting in, as was breast tenderness. We’d already been “forgetting” to breastfeed more days than not, so it was only a matter of time anyway. We stopped for a few days, and that could have been it, but we had one last time. And it was special.
The reason we had one last time, when I had really intended it to be over, is because we both needed comforting. I’d had some signs of miscarriage, and was scared I was losing the baby. Then, they found a cyst and ordered an MRI, and I was terrified of the possibilities. It was an exhausting and stressful time. I honestly don’t remember what was going on with Catherine that day and that moment, but I just felt we both needed to snuggle up.
If you haven’t breastfed, you might not know that doing it releases calming endorphins instantly. And I can’t speak for Catherine, but I can tell you that there’s something addictive about breastfeeding for little ones, too. To this day, she still loves my boobies. Anyway, we curled up on the bed with the sunlight coming through the sides of the window shades and nursed one last time.
Breastfeeding is not just a gift you give your child. It’s one she gives to you, too.
I’m looking forward to what I hope will be an equally great breastfeeding relationship with our new baby in May.
A blah thing:
My company lost a big account and so announced impending layoffs of pretty much everyone I work with. And yeah, they have no qualms about laying off an eight-months pregnant lady.
I’ve got some angry feelings about that, and some ideas about what to do about it, but what I really ought to do is see it for what it is – nothing personal, just a company looking out for itself and its bottom line, as companies do. And I can do the same. All we did was write spam emails anyway. Frankly, that experience wasn’t worth the money or time away from Catherine. Though, as with all experiences, it did teach me – and Catherine – some things and so was valuable in its own way.
I’m lucky to have Chris who has always been successful at his career, and allows me to spend so much precious time with my babies that, sadly, many women in this country don’t get to enjoy.
And on that note, here are some more good things:
- We’re moving into our new, sunny, lovely apartment right on the water in a week.
- Spring is arriving.
- Shopping for fun new furniture and baby things is in progress.
- My mom will be coming up soon to hang out and help me do last minute things before the baby arrives.
- Catherine is about to be a big sister.
- Chris and I are very close to meeting our precious new baby girl!
One thing I’ve learned from our wedding and this second pregnancy – both of which were SO carefully planned – is that the things you plan the most seem to go the least according to plan! I need to learn to roll with the punches and not ruminate so much. Life is short. I want to focus on the fun things and stop trying to anticipate every possible thing that could go wrong. It won’t change anything.
So you know how I just said we found a home in that previous post? Well, right before we signed the lease, we found a different home. A better home, zoned for the same great elementary school. It’s a sunny corner apartment with big windows, plentiful closets, its own washer and dryer, a pretty kitchen, and a great view of the water where the East and Hudson Rivers merge. We’re at the very tip of lower Manhattan, slightly more removed (5 minutes walking) than the Wall Street location (but it’s worth it). Here’s a picture of the kitchen.
It’s going to be tricky to figure out sleeping arrangements, but we’ll do it. And the living room is large, so it shouldn’t be a problem fitting all of our stuff and the kids larger toys, like their play kitchen and craft table.
The building itself is super nice! There’s a roof top deck with grass that overlooks the water. They show kids’ movies during the summer with a projector on the wall and serve popcorn. We get a free membership to a health center next door with a lap pool! So I have no excuse to not get back in shape after the baby.
We really love it, and I can’t wait to move in and start making it home. I’ve been dying to nest and get everything prepared to welcome our new baby, and haven’t been able to do that. So it’ll be great to finally start. We move in March 30. What an awesome end to a grueling search!
I’ll post more pictures once we move in.
So, we got an apartment! And while it is tiny (many would balk, especially those accustomed to living anywhere but New York), and definitely not fancy, it is located right above the Tiffany & Co. on Wall Street. Not the one from the movie – that one’s on 5th Avenue – but still, not too shabby. It’s also nice that our street and others surrounding the New York Stock Exchange are cobblestoned and closed to through traffic, if you don’t count tourists, of which there are hoards (but it’s always something you have to contend with in NY).
And…it’s zoned for what I hear is a truly wonderful elementary school. We got it just in time for the pre-k application deadline. So now hopefully I can sleep at night.
Now we just have to figure out how we’re going to fit two grown-ups, an almost-four-year old, a newborn, and a miniature schnauzer into…a one-bedroom apartment. Are we nuts?
We’ll find out. 🙂