Yesterday started off sooo perfect!  Catherine and I went for our second run, and it was great!  I got in a good hour of running, and stopped midway at my favorite bakery in Atlanta to pick up some cookies and muffins.  It was a totally enjoyable and rejuvenating run and I am so happy to be back at it after my pregnancy. It’s even better than I now get to run with my little buddy Catherine.  And the fact that it is such a process to get to the running part actually makes it a fun challenge and ups the payoff in my opinion.

After our run, we came home and I had just enough time for a shower (forget drying my hair or putting on makeup) before she woke up ready to be fed.  She ate, and then we had a cute playing session.

Then I put her in the moby wrap and while she slept I actually did a little shopping at Target.

We came home with some goodies from Target, I fed her again, and she got a little fussy.  I didn’t care, I was on Mommy Cloud 9 from our awesome morning.  I had nothing but time to spend with my girl.  I rocked her, soothed her, put her down.  She cried and wanted back up.  Again, no problem, I’d rock her all day if that’s what she wanted.  But as the hours went on I started to get a little bothered because I’m very adamant she get all her naps and I worry if she isn’t getting the recommended sleep, food, etc.  At 6pm, she finally went down…and woke back up 15 minutes later.  Now, I began to worry.  Her fussing turned to inconsolable crying.

I have never not been able to console a baby!  Especially my own.  After trying everything and checking for everything that could possibly make a baby cry, I was at a loss.  Hearing her sad cries finally got to me and I was crying with her.  I couldn’t stand the thought of her being in pain or whatever it was for so long and me not being able to fix it!!  I called the doctor, who could barely hear me over her cries.  Because she’s so young, he had me go to the children’s ER.  I sobbed!

But we went, and I felt a little better because at least they’d be able to fix her there, right?  WRONG.  Let me tell you – the ER is no place you want to be with an infant!  After checking her over, asking me what I’d eaten, and finding nothing wrong (duh – I could have done that myself, and already had) they suggested 1)a blood test, 2)a urine sample via catheter, and 3)a spinal tap!!!!  All this to rule out infection.

Oh. My. Gosh.  While I totally am for taking all precautions just in case, this was too much.  I was sobbing in the hospital.  I could not bear hearing my baby crying as if in pain for so long. Then, having to see her in a tiny hospital gown with stupid cords to monitor stuff strapped to her???  And finally, them trying to do all sorts of invasive and in my opinion unnecessary procedures to my tiny, innocent baby??????  My heart was just breaking.  It all felt over-the-top, procedural, and flat out unnecessary.  I called my doctor again, who I adore by the way, and just the tone of his voice in response to my sobbing to him on the phone – not patronizingly soothing or anything, just unfazed by my crying and reassuring like talking to a friend – made me feel better.  He said it would be okay and to be safe rather than sorry and listen to the ER doctor’s recommendation.  We didn’t get to finish our conversation because the ER doctor came in the room. :-/

So, I agreed to a blood test and urine sample but made them hold off on the spinal thing until Chris (who had just landed at the airport back from Chicago) arrived, to stall them and buy me some time.  I’m glad I did.  They did the blood test and urine sample and BOY DID I CRY, way more than sweet Catherine.  Finally, Chris arrived.  What a relief to see him!  By that time, the doctors had spoken with my pediatrician on the phone, and as the other two tests came back totally normal decided the spinal tap was unnecessary.  YA THINK???  Ugh.

Well, Catherine, utterly exhausted not having slept since 2pm, finally passed out at midnight in my arms at the hospital.  We took her home and put her to bed.  I stared at her, overcome with love and worry for her.  I cuddled with Chris on the sofa for about 15 minutes to unwind.  Finally we went to bed.  Catherine slept through the night, with the exception of a 5am feeding.

So…maybe we made a mountain out of a molehill.  I think the reaction of the nurses and doctors and seeing Catherine in that environment just shook me.  And not being able to soothe your baby will rattle any mother’s nerves apparently.  I feel like I need to recover from a small trauma.  I’m NOT kidding.  I hope, hope, hope that today goes better.  She is waking up from her nap right now.

In all, I have to say that I love the pediatricians at Piedmont Pediatrics, and I’m NOT AT ALL impressed with the pediatricans and care we received at Egelston Children’s Hospital.  Maybe that’s just because of how scary it was, but that’s how I feel.

I love my sweet baby girl so much.  I almost didn’t write about this because I’d rather forget it, but I did anyway.

And here is our baby this morning, feeling better and saying hello to Daddy.

What a night.  I still don’t know what was wrong. Gas? Reflux? What makes a baby cry inconsolably?