Archives for the month of: April, 2012

I didn’t post about our girls’ trip to the mountains a couple weekends ago.  It was a much looked-forward-to and needed trip.  Blair’s family was kind enough to let us stay in their beautiful, scenic cabin.  It was so nice to see old friends from college and be in such a peaceful environment with them.  One friend is even vegan so I benefited from her delicious cooking. 🙂  Thanks to them for the company, the sweet gifts for the baby, and just being good friends to me over the years.

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Baby’s Size: She’s 3lbs 7 ounces.  The size of a pineapple. Probably a small one.

My Symptoms: restless leg syndrome and cramps in my legs, feet, and toes make it hard to sleep these days. That and finding a comfortable position that doesn’t feel I’m either crushing the baby or she’s crushing me (my organs).  Other than that, I feel I could run a marathon (and wish I could!).

Best moments of the week: Chris coming home early from a work trip and surprising me, seeing our baby’s FACE!!!, staring at the picture of her face while I fall asleep… Work has been great as well, I’m really, really enjoying it.  I of course have days (or weeks) where it’s rough, but in general I feel nothing but gratitude for having had such a wonderful place to work during my pregnancy.  The experience is what i wanted, the people are awesome, the environment, culture, everything is just what I want in a job.

This morning was also really nice. I got up early and walked around target looking at baby clothes and just taking my time. This always gets me super excited about her arrival.

What I’m looking forward to: Meeting her for the first time…and dressing her up and taking her out.  It’d be so wonderful if she is an easy baby and I can take her to the beach this summer.  We’ll see though, I’m trying to prepare myself for a less ideal scenario (fussy baby and can’t leave the house all summer 😦 ).

Also, Chris is taking me on our last babymoon this weekend!  We’re of course going to the gulf for a long weekend, where we plan to lie in the sun and soak up our last bit of utter relaxation before our little girl arrives.  Chris will enjoy frozen margaritas while I of course will look longingly at his and maybe swish a little around in my mouth to pretend.

Well…we’re off to the Inman Park Festival!  I’m going to wear a sundress and wedge heels and walk around with a big belly.  More later…

 

We had our (supposed) final ultrasound today!  We FINALLY saw her precious little face!  And she looks JUST like Chris.  You might wonder how I can determine that from an ultrasound, but trust me these things are crazy detailed these days and I can clearly see that she has his mouth and lips – no doubt about it.  Lucky little girl.  Chris has a cute mouth.  I HOPE she has my eyes. :-/  She needs to look like half me, right? But I’ve predicted she will look like Chris because his features seem more dominant than mine, in my opinion.  Anyway, babies always seem to look like their dads at first.  Maybe she will get a little bigger and look like me too?  Okay, maybe I’m getting carried away, it IS just an ultrasound photo.  But – she looks like her Daddy.  Which makes it more real to me that despite her being in MY uterus, she is actually half Chris.  Hmm.  Well, for two more months anyway she is mine all mine.  I guess the “letting go” really begins at birth.  How ironic.

Also, I correctly predicted the exact position she is in.  She is head down, facing my left leg, with her butt to the upper right of my belly button and her legs kicking around the ribs area.  So as long as she stays that way and does a little turn to the back (NOT to the front – sunny side up – that makes for difficult deliveries) we are on our way to a normal vaginal birth…fingers crossed but I’m trying to prepare for anything…

She weighs around 3 lbs 7 ounces.  On the small side of the “normal” scale, which is perfect because I’m small framed and our doctor said this will put her between 6.5-7lbs at my due date, which is what he’d like her to be.

Her fingers look super long to me, but the doctor said they’re normal.

We love her already.  But we have no idea what we’re in for when she’s actually here.  Scary!

She was smacking her lips and sucking her thumb. She looked kind of grouchy.

She is head down as she should be.  I know it because I can feel her hiccups in my pelvic region, her tiny hands punching me down there, her feet jabbing me in the side, and her butt stretching the skin around my belly button. 🙂  She’s been this way for a couple weeks now.

We’ll see if I’m correct on Thursday.

Expecting a baby brings so much joy to your life.  And from what I hear, so does actually having the baby.  But amid the anticipation, there’s also a sadness that borders on grieving.  I’m saying goodbye to Helen as I’ve known her so far – pre-motherhood.  I already miss her in a tangible way.  I feel like I’m standing on a dock watching someone I dearly love about to sail away forever, and not wanting to let her go.

I feel the same way about Chris and I as a couple.  Lately I’ve been thinking back over the memories we’ve created together, just he and I.  Walking around in our summer clothes at art festivals, him drinking a beer and me drinking an overly sweet margarita from a tacky glass, buying pottery and art we don’t need…throwing on our swimsuits to head to the beach or pool, our biggest responsibility being making sure we packed the sunscreen…me luxuriously cooking our dinner and sipping wine while he lifted weights or did work on his computer.  I remember us cuddling on the sofa discussing what it’d be like if there were a little one crawling around.  Would there be room on the sofa?  Would we even be able to relax?  At the time having a baby seemed very, very far away.

The fact is, our new addition is so permanent.  Things will never, ever be the same (as people so kindly keep reminding me).  And so in that sense, I’m saying goodbye, and for me – who as a child used to hide behind the door and cry when company left – that has always been hard to do.

BUT.

My feeling a little wistful doesn’t mean I’m not excited, too.  I haven’t met her yet, but already I wouldn’t change her for the world.

And a few nights ago, I actually dreamed about her!  In the dream I could see her face, and I was holding her, dressing her, and breastfeeding her for the first time.  I’ve always had extremely vivid dreams, and in this dream my emotions – uncertainty, anxiety, enormous responsibility, amazement, joy, and love – were all very real.  Through that dream I’ve somehow bonded with our baby on another level, and now I can’t stop caressing my belly and talking to her and sending her my love telepathically.

I can’t speak for motherhood just yet, but pregnancy is a life-changing time full of unfamiliar, mixed emotions.  It’s the peak of my life, the thing I was secretly putting off because I didn’t want it to be over (I said I’d wait until 35 to have kids!).  It’s like the best piece of chocolate in the box that you save for last, or the best Christmas present that you don’t want to unwrap because then Christmas will be over.  I don’t think anything as amazing will ever happen to me as having my first baby, and a daughter at that.

And so when I always said I’d wait as long as possible to get married and have children, that was the real reason – the “hoarding” of the experience.  But now, I’m well on my way and I’m savoring every moment of it.  I don’t want it to be over!

Here’s a quick update at 31 going on 32 weeks pregnant!

Baby’s Size: 16.7 inches, 3.75 lbs, a large jicama (whatever, these fruit/veg comparisons are silly)

Symptoms: I need lots of pillows to sleep.  I’m not supposed to sleep on my back, or obviously stomach.  But now when I sleep on my side, I tend to tip forward, which makes my baby start kicking and squirming in protest.  So I worry I’m squishing her.  I use pillows to keep myself perfectly propped.  Other symptoms remain the same and overall I feel great.  Still wearing my heels no problem!

What I miss: Still miss long runs.  And a flat belly.

What I’m looking forward to: our last ultrasound, this Thursday.  I’m dying to see what position she’s in and what she looks like in there.  I’d love to see her face, so maybe we’ll get lucky!  I haven’t seen it yet.

Lately I’ve also been thinking about how teeny tiny and cute a newborn looks in it’s itty bitty clothes. They don’t stay that way for long but I’m looking forward to having one of those.

And, though I know labor will likely not go as I imagine it, I’m looking forward to the moment we get to meet our daughter.

I thought I’d found it – the perfect name!  It’s a sweet little nickname for a longer, old-fashioned family name we’re considering.  It’s…

Maisie.  Pronounced mae’ zee.  Also spelled Maizie.  I love the names from which it originates, but I thought Maisie was a cute, still classic, but slightly more unique nickname for a little girl. I thought I’d hit the jackpot.

Until Chris pointed out that since our last name is Cobb, it’d be weird to name her “Corn” – aka Maize.

So, no cigar.  Sigh. Back to the drawing board. We have some strong contenders though.

Symptoms: Belly still getting bigger, leg cramps every night where I have to hop out of bed to make it go away, my sciatic nerve acted up like crazy the other day and Chris had to massage my back (darn), and I have to be careful not to eat overly salty/spicy foods because I get heartburn.

None of that stuff bothers me much though.  I feel pretty great, and I hope it continues because I deserve a smooth third trimester after my terrible first, darnit!

Weight gain:  I was wrong about having gained 19 lbs, the doctor said I’ve gained 13 lbs.  I am to 128lbs from 115lbs.  That’s not bad considering how much I indulge in food these days.  I wonder if I would have gained much weight at all if I stuck to a more conservative diet.  I still have 2 months to go, let’s see if I eat my words.

What I miss: Running.  It hit me the other day.  I was listening to a song I used to put on repeat when I ran, and I missed my long, theraputic runs SO MUCH!  I still get in a few 3-milers, but these are short, gentle runs and they aren’t anything like what I did pre-pregnancy.  I can’t run more than 2.5-3 miles without feeling strange, like the baby is bearing down on my…ehem…rectum.

Favorite moment: Any of the numerous times Chris pats my belly or talks to the baby.  Now, I know people may say I’m crazy or this is impossible – but last night Chris heard her heartbeat just by putting his ear to my belly.  The doctor did say it was very strong and he found it instantly when he put the heart thingy to my belly.  Chris said he knew without a doubt that’s what this was, and he described the rhythm and it was just the speed and pattern we hear at our doctors appointments.

Also, when Chris talks to her, she kicks him in the face. It’s adorable. I love our baby girl and my man.

Watch carefully (well, if you care about this sort of thing) until the end for some crazy kicking and stretching action (then, picture yourself in a business meeting trying to keep a straight face as this is happening).  The “but Chris” at the beginning is me about to tell Chris something, then stopping because I was messing up the video.

Yay!!!!! 30 Weeks!  Or about 7 months pregnant.  Just a couple more months to go.

I am going to try to post a video later today of the baby kicking.  It’s really crazy.  She’s getting so big and there just isn’t much room in there for her. She moves and stretches a LOT!