Hi!  It’s a stormy Saturday morning and I’m sitting in bed with my coffee and my laptop, so I thought I’d do a quick update since yesterday marked Week 18.

Meeks is sleeping in his little bed, Chris is snoozing beside me, and as usual I am the only one awake on a Saturday morning, which is fine with me.  Saturday mornings are my favorite.

As soon as everyone gets up, I plan to make us healthy smoothies to go, and we’ll be headed out to shop and register for baby things…if we can brave this stormy weather.  For now… an update:

Baby’s Size: An heirloom tomato. I’m assuming one of the big ones.

Weight Gain: Still at 4 lbs weight gain, for a total of 118.

Symptoms: Still gag myself with my toothbrush, still get really tired sometimes, but overall feeling good.

What I Miss: A flat belly 🙂

Best Moment: I finally felt the baby kick.  Chris was out with some people from work, and I was in bed with a bowl of ice cream (of course).  I don’t know if it was the sugar that did it, but when I finally laid down I felt some movement that I didn’t think was my stomach digesting or anything like that.  I’d been feeling little things that could easily have been digestion over the past couple weeks, but this kicking went on for a sustained period of time right where the baby is, and was different from anything else.  I could even feel a few kicks when I put my hand on my abdomen.  It was a wonderful feeling that made me happier than I expected!  I just laid there enjoying the kicking while I read, feeling like I was “hanging out” with my baby girl.  The kicks make it so much more real.  Since then, I’ve felt little moments of movement but nothing as wild as Thursday night.

Another great moment: So, last Sunday Chris went on a cleaning and organization spree.  I mean, he cleaned out storage, closets, cabinets, the laundry room – he was a cleaning machine!  He also cleaned out the wardrobe that stands in our bedroom.  We filled it with the few baby items we have, but just opening it and seeing our baby girl’s little clothes on hangers is exciting.  The problem is, now I want to fill it with more things!  Let’s hope I can restrain myself and don’t get too carried away.  I know the baby will outgrow everything I buy so quickly.

What I’m Looking Forward To: Decorating for a girl!  As in, picking out and arranging a crib, bedding, a mobile, our rocking chair, paint, a little jewelry box, pretty storage boxes, and all those things that make up a baby girl’s room.

Other:  I think I should be honest and say that along with the excitement, I also have moments of concern.  Being a mom is the most important job I’ll ever have in my whole life, so I think it’s normal I have some fears.  I keep reading all these stories about how hard it is and it makes me worry.  I mean, there’s SO much to look forward to, but some people make it sound like it’s going to be miserable!  I worry about giving up my freedom, never having sleep, never having time to myself – yes, selfish things – as well as being a great example and being everything my child needs and more.  The experience seems to be different for everyone, so I will have to wait and see.  For now, I will try to take a friend’s advice.  She told me “Enjoy your pregnancy now. The fear will come after she’s born.”  LOL.

It’s just my sister Mary has made it all seem so natural and easy.  When she had Abby I never heard a complaint, she seemed to be in bliss (well, except that first summer at the beach when she spent all her time breastfeeding at the condo and in the car while the rest of us laid on the beach), and she was constantly on top of EVERYTHING and such an amazing mother.  Now, with Abby being almost 3, and Nolan a newborn, I see that she has more to juggle and really appreciates babysitters and help.  But she and Zach are handling it with grace and are having a blast at the same time with their precious family.  I have alot to live up to!

I’ll say this – I am VERY grateful that Chris is so on top of everything, all the time.  He is not the sort of man you have to ask to take out the trash.  In fact, it’s the opposite, he has to gently remind me to load the dishwasher. 😀  I think I’ve got a very good partner in this adventure.

I’ve had some lyrics from a couple of songs in my head.  From Coldplay’s What If... Take a breath, jump over the side

And from The Roots’s The Love of My Life… The anticipation arose, as time froze…I stared off the stage with my eyes closed, and dove…Into the deep cosmos

That is kind of how I feel about pregnancy.  Throughout my life I’ve often held myself back from going for what I really wanted because of the risks, and because I couldn’t predict the exact outcome.  And again and again, I told myself that next time I would strive to embrace the fear.  When I first found out I was pregnant, and went on that 12-mile run, I was thinking Let’s do this.  I am scared and have no idea what I’m getting myself into and there is definitely no turning back, but I am not going to let that stop me from being excited and going for it – basically, jumping off that cliff.

Well, the rain has calmed down for a second and I’m going to try to get Chris out of bed and go shopping.  Thanks for listening if you made it this far.  Bye for now!

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